I met a little man on the subway today. 42nd and Flushing, he loaded, subway heading deeper into Queens.
In the very crowded car, he pushed others to one side, a small lady there, and older man to his shoulder.
Can’t quite describe the feeling, he was facing away from me. But, I felt his vileness, his horrible energy, and knew, knew I said, his evil.
His little back was to me, I standing some half car away. It was a invasive feel that invaded my very nostrils. I knew what he smelled like. And, it was bad.
His sparse red hair was partially covered with a stocking cap.
His round, soft body with several layers of shirts, jackets.
Though I had no history, I knew this man hated, hated all with every fiber of his being.
I felt he thought the world had treated him so poorly, so jealous of all he was, that he wished everyone around him to die. I also felt, he had destroyed before, with his cheap gin, and fellow humans in far worse condition.
His jealousy and hate knew no bounds. He was internal and infernal, both.
He wished all would die, so he could rise, I felt, I knew.
Though I judged him harshly, wishing to distance myself from him as far as I could, I watched him closely.
A horrible human only capable of harm to others.
Yet, in my judgment, I waited and watched, like drivers slowing to a car wreck, looking for the blood.
There, a pregnant woman, obviously close to time, I could see her face, filled with pain and dread.
Next to her, an old woman, helpless to understand anything happening around her, with a mind that had lost all clarity, all of the real world knowledge.
My demon, devil, horrible man saw the two of them and looked over at two young people sitting comfortably, ear phones plugged in, oblivious to all.
The small evil man leaned over to invade their spaces, and command them to give up their cushy seats to the old one and the round one, and though they were obviously rebelling, the small one seemed to frighten them.
Their eyes wide with shock, their jaws slack and mouths open, they stood up.
The huge one, asked the old lady to sit, one gentle hand to her arm, the other to guide her shoulder, while the lessor one helped the pregnant one to his recent sit.
All four looked at each other with compassion and understanding, maybe thanks.
Then, all four looked for the small one.
But, he was gone.
I, too, could not find the small one.
How could I be so wrong?
Where did he go? The train had not stopped at station, the doors had not opened.
Now, I think five people felt the slight hand of God.
I was so wrong.
Getting off the subway that day, I decided I needed help. I had judged my fellow man so poorly, I was so certain, I was so wrong. I could never look at a small man, or an old woman or young men in the same way.
My change was forever.
Are you so very certain, you are right?