Just 30 seconds God

I hope God gives me 30 seconds before my last breath to remember.

I want to taste again that first chocolate Sunday with dribbles on my chin,
my taste buds blowing bubbles at me.

I want to hear anew that first AM radio blues tune with Ray Charles dragging on one note, forever, “I want to know”.

I want to feel again, that bad hand clutch and groan of that broken motorcycle going from first to second.

I want to remember how it felt to play, my first time, in a plastic white and red jacket, that solo in front of neighbors, teachers, and strangers.

I want to read again my first quiver of fear from Edgar Allen,
and, I want that first “spin the bottle” kiss, splayed on my lips clumsy as hell, but feeling all that, spreading twixt brain and groin. I want that first love obliterating all thought, but flooding my shorts like a fire below decks,

I want to see again, the birth of my beautiful children.

And, dammit, I want to see my friends in the pose of their best, those that accepted my gaffs, my bumps, my mistakes, and still talked to me.

Give me that little, and God can shove me where it is right.

I will go as a lamb.

Let the record show, the smiles have it, and the tears are damned.

I know God has smiles aplenty, for low people like me.

Maybe you, too?